Fall

Today as I sat on my couch working on homework, I looked out the window and saw the most beautiful orange and pink sky. I immediately grabbed my scarf and jacket, hopped on my scooter and headed up to the nearest high point I could find. I found myself perched on a street on the bench of the "Y" mountain just a couple blocks from home. As I drove to my destination, and as I sat on my scooter overlooking the view, random sentences filled my thoughts. I quickly took out my phone and started writing down the words that came to mind. By the time I was done I had written a little poem. Here it is:

Rear view mirrors filled with the

colors of yesterday.

Smells of burning wood

wafting through the streets,

tired tree's leaves

whistle in the wind.

Cover the pavement.

Dimming lights welcome the night,

make the crickets sing slow

and melodically.

Tall dark mountains

line the horizon saying,

"Welcome Home".

change.

i started my applications for grad school today.

talk about scary.

part of me wishes i don't get in so i can have a year off....shh. don't tell.

the process is a little intimidating, but i think i can handle it. lets just hope i don't fall to pieces this week trying to get midterms, work, family events, and application requirements finished. i find things like this and this to be comforting.

something to look forward to this weekend: my little sister isabelle is growing up and getting baptized! i never thought she would be 8 years old, it seems like the past 8 years have flown by.

summer

last weekend my roommates and i planned a themed get-together.

theme: "sophisticated night out"

details: everyone dressed like rich/preppy kids (think white pants with polo shirts, cardigans and popped collars).

activities: badminton (complete with regulation lines on a grass court, surrounded by lush vegetation) , lawn bowling, and croquet.

food: burgers (with healthy all wheat, cracker thin buns), chips, cookies, fresh cherries, homemade ice cream

overall success: a-m-a-z-i-n-g night with lots of fun people and laughter.

i will admit however, i did come home with a couple sore muscles (that i hadn't known existed before) because of the intensity at which the badminton was played. there were some competitive spirits to say the least.

my wonderful roommate kelsey was behind the whole night, and threw together a fantastic summer evening.

there may be round two this weekend.

date night.

my mother and i had a date this last weekend. we went to the symphony at sundance resort up provo canyon. we met up with some longtime friends that were in town from california and had a lovely time! it was my first exposure to the utah symphony, and i have to say i thoroughly enjoyed myself. we had a delicious treat of some buttery popcorn and yummy rice crispy treat (thanks to kate...it was the only thing that made the fact that there wasn't any diet coke available bearable for my mother. we both panicked a little when we saw that sneaky little pepsi sign). they played some classics as well as some beautiful and patriotic songs. the scenery couldn't have been better--we spread out our blanket and made ourselves comfortable, listened to the soothing music under the evening blue sky and soaked in the good vibes. the temperature was perfect and one bright star just above the horizon line of the mountain tops made it quite picturesque. we laughed, we cried, and we even got a glimpse of the sundance kid himself (that would be robert redford if you weren't sure ;)).

nap.

just woke up from a fantastic mid-afternoon nap. i am trying to motivate myself to climb out of my clean comfy sheets and into the livingroom to study for a math test. i have already procrastinated to the worst degree for this chapter in my college algebra class...but i think i can pull it together by saturday. hopefully. that is really the only point of this post--to give me an excuse to procrastinate a little bit more.

i spent last weekend in bryce canyon and it was amazing. i will post pictures soon and tell of our fun adventure.

rotten.

i am a rotten person. just like this dilapidated apple. you know when you are talking to someone, and you think you are keeping things lighthearted but then someone gets offended? and even though you try to fix it the phone call ends and you still feel rotten about the situation? that just happened. and now i feel awful because i upset a close friend. and then to make things worse i rubbed my bad mood onto everyone around me. i think i must go to bed and try to erase this night. hopefully i will be forgiven and everything will return the way they were. i fear, however, that our friendship will forever be changed over this silly quarrel, and not for the better. i think a little time away from provo this weekend will be good. i need to get out.

rain.

tonight i went for a run--in the pouring rain. i listened to this and this. and can i just say that it was one of the most liberating experiences? i felt like i was "sticking it to the man" by just putting on my running shoes and getting drenched without a care in the world. i ran up to the byu bell tower and had a really wonderful experience. it was amazing and hard to put into words. but i loved the feeling of looking up at the tall tower with the rain drops glimmering in the spotlights and gently hitting my face. i think i will do it again sometime.

upon returning home i stumbled on these photos i took with my little sister in november when we headed up the canyon to cut down our christmas tree. we were bored as we waited in the car for the rest of the family to run into the grocery store--so we had an impromptu photo shoot. i must say i love that girl more than anything.

bike rides in the summertime.

this is a bike on the beach in italy.

Tonight I went on the most delightful bike ride. The air was fresh like summertime and it felt good to be back on pearl...she treats me well. I am excited for the summer to be here so that I can continue the nighttime cruises. Next time I will hopefully remember to take a camera so I can document the experience. I am also dying to go to my favorite parking garage on byu campus and feel the wind in my hair as I coast down the perfect sloped cement.

The other night I saw this movie and I have been homesick for Italy for days. Tonight I opened up an Italian textbook and just started reading the dialogs. I am sad that I have forgotten so much, but glad that I can at least still read with a pretty decent accent (at least I think so? haha). Riding bikes tonight made me miss Lucca especially.

alpine

beautiful alpine mountains in may.

I went to Alpine today for a church activity--I decided that if I stay in Utah to raise my family, I would like to do so in Alpine. The mountains were breathtaking. The view was heavenly. I love the way the houses are nestled in the mountains...it kind of feels like one big hug. Love it.

productive.

Am I still being productive if I am reformatting my blog while instead I am supposed to be studying for a math test? I want to say "yes" but I feel like the answer is definitely NO. If my mother knew that I was wasting time like this should would be all sorts of bothered. I think I will keep it to myself until she reads this post weeks from now and finds out the truth.

The truth is--I HATE SPRING CLASSES! I find it really hard to study when all I want to do is play with my family and friends. I really need to find a better balance but don't really have the inner desire to-because deep down I know that means spending less time being unproductive (such as now...) and more time with a structured schedule and discipline. Oh well. That's life I guess.

This week has been a great one--a special highlight included a trip to smashburger with all my favorite people. My grandparents joined (my grandma loves it because they taste really similar to my grandpa's famous homemade "Jed-Burgers") and my mom and dad. As I sat there in between my grandma and grandpa, my parents across from me, and a whole table of the most unhealthy but delicious food (burgers, fries, shakes, and diet coke) I thought to myself "this is what its all about". Let me clarify--life isn't about greasy food. Life is about spending quality time with those you love. As I sat and enjoyed my delightful mid-week break I had such a grateful heart. I have so many things to be grateful for, especially recently, as I have learned (again...) that the Lord does hear and answer prayers--even if it takes a while. We must learn patience and faith in His plan. I have learned that it is when we doubt Him the most, we should pray the most.

one of those days.

so it was just one of those days. one of those weeks really. it started off nicely with having a monday holiday--although as i became more and more distracted by the olympics, and less and less productive with my school work, the stress began to mount. maybe it was the fact that my tuesday became a monday, or my break on wednesday was filled with a pointless test review leaving me starving til 5:30...i'm not sure. but whatever the reason, i was in quite the nasty mood this afternoon. it was one of those moods where you just want to smack those happy smiley people you run into in the head? you know those? well nevertheless, not good. i found myself being horribly sharp to my mother, who i love dearly and who always helps me solve my stressful woes. i usually however just end up trying to throw my stress onto her which doesn't help either of us and gets me nowhere. while studying in the depths of the library for my icky chem test i realized what an awful mood i was in but still couldn't quite shake it. in the middle of studying i realized i hadn't turned in a portion of my lab--great. there goes my grade. normally it might not be a huge deal, but considering my teacher might as well be satan, i am not expecting any mercy. as i sat there with tears welling in my eyes from the frustration i notice mr. smiley at the table across from mine. i know he was probably just trying to be friendly, but as i looked up at him i was half tempted to shout some awful blurb like "what are you smiling about?" or "get lost" at him. what a horrible person i am. luckily i restrained myself and left the library shortly thereafter just in case something slipped out. thank goodness that after my test was over and i came home to my delightful roommate alyssa, things changed for the better. as i discussed the events of the day with kendis, we were both thankful that we aren't subject to blurting out every thought that passes through our head. its days and weeks like this that make me especially grateful for private thoughts.

i feel like i should end my night on a happy note, so the following is a list of happy moments/things i liked from the week-

1) jamba juice apple cinnamon oatmeal. warm delightful heaven in a cup. even better on $1 wednesdays.

2)delightful roommates who laugh with me when i need it most

3)mom's homemade chocolate chip cookies. its amazing how comforting they can be.

4)olympics. even if they do distract me.

5)smiles. especially when i am in a rotten mood and dislike them the most.

everything.

so the past couple weeks I have been trying, key word trying, to be more fit. The first couple weeks I made it running once a week--good start right? But then this week I have already gone twice! With plans to go at least one more time. I am feeling pretty good about things--my legs and lungs are starting to agree a lot more with me. I was able to run a whole 2.5 miles! Woohoo! I am really hoping that I can stay motivated and actually, seriously, for reals get in shape this year. Another thing that I am really proud of doing-----ready for it?----I went to the dentist! Its been about 5 years, I know what you are thinking..."thats a long time!". I agree with you, it was a long time. But I just for some reason could not bring myself to go because the last time I went didn't go so well and ended in an anxiety attack and tears. No fun. But this last trip, although not enjoyable, did go well. I love my new dentist.

Tonight was wonderful. For the first time since I have been home I tasted authentic italy! Oh goodness was it magical. We got a group of girls together and all went here for dinner. I cannot describe the memories that came flashing back as my taste buds went crazy for the familiar tastes they have missed for so long. I cannot describe the feeling, and the pizza probably wouldn't be quite as amazing if you haven't had the real thing before, but it was delightful. I will go back. Not only was it authentic Italian Pizza but the pictures, people, and atmosphere were delightful as well. I can go to sleep happy and satisfied tonight with Italian pizza in my tummy and my legs feeling strengthened from my run. I think I can face tomorrow.

communal.

i am blessed with delightful roommates. i love them all, each for their own unique personalities. tonight i got to go on a date night with kendis and alyssa. we enjoyed a delicious, although rather small portioned, dinner at communal. it was warm and cozy and filled with exquisite local artwork. i sat across the table from the girls and felt so lucky to have such great friends. as conversation transitioned from one topic to the next i found myself loving them each more and more. i love that kendis and i are on the completely same wavelenght most of the time, and as we blurt out secret confessions at the same time- they always manage to be the same things. for instance, we both share a loathing of the phrase "i have to go to the little boys room." a) who says that? b)who says that when they are no longer a little boy, and haven't been for a while and c)why can't you just say something like, "excuse me, i'll be right back. or "i have to use the restroom...". it is moments when we look at each other and unexpectadly realize we are thinking the same thing that i know that in some other life we were meant to find each other. we were meant to be friends. i don't know what i would do without a sweet girl like her in my life. and then there is alyssa. alyssa's hugs are unlike any on this earth. no matter what the day has been like i automatically have a good day when i see her and get to share a snug embrace. i love belting out beyonce shamelessly in the car together just because we want to. i love seeing her and getting so excited i just have to jump up and down a little, and maybe let out a quite squeal of excitement. after we came home from dinner the gorgeous kelsey was at home anxiously awaiting our arrival home. kelsey's fun terms of endearment, and delightful ability to know just how to say what is on her mind and to tell you how much she missed you and what you mean to her uplift me everyday. we have only known each other for a short time, but i feel as though we have grown up together. talking into the early hours of the morning until our lids are heavy never gets old, no matter what the next day brings. i love these girls with all my heart. i am so greatful i get to live with them, and share this time of our lives together.