Saturday, November 21, 2009

disconnected thoughts.

today i feel like blotting down all the words floating around in my head in an unorganized, very haphazard way. here it goes:

technology. disappointment. friends. ignore. boyfriends. time. errands. mom. family. mission. school. test. thanksgiving. gospel. love. marriage. happy. laughter. sarcasm. yellow. ice cream. cookie dough. strawberries. laundry. clothes. fancy. pasta. loneliness. abandoned. forgotten. siena. longing. piano. pandora. enthalpy. distraction. confusion. stress. desire. passion. paint. drawing. hammock. caramel steamer. physiology. blah. pearls. tired. exhausted. tears of laughter.

well now that i have had word vomit all over my page i feel like i am ready to express thoughts in a more formal way. today began with a very confusing hour of chemistry. i really have no idea what is going on, and quite frankly i am terrified for me next exam. i must dedicate some time to learning the material over thanksgiving break. however, this semester i have had my eye on mr. rayban which keeps things a little entertaining, even when i want to rip my hair out from the confusion and frustration. RayBan is cute and intriguing...we've talked a couple times, run into each other at a party, and actually have two classes together. however, after 3/4 of the semester he still hasn't initiated any contact. of course there are the constant glance backs, and smiles when we do make eye contact. the occasional small talk. but nothing of any substance. it is starting to get a little old, and i'm losing interest. anyway--after an hour of chemistry it was off to a physiology review. after another hour of feeling somewhat lost i was off to the wilk for a delightful treat and some study time. i treated myself do the most delightful treat in a cup ever to appear on campus. a caramel steamer. i by chance tried it last week...hello new favorite. its creamy rich goodness is the perfect friend for study time. i found myself a little cozy chair on the upper level of the wilk and dedicated the next two hours to physiology and an occasional cat nap. while studying i had an ah-ha moment. i love byu. its kind of strange that i am in my junior kind of makes me sad to think that i only have 3-4 semesters left of school. what will i do without this in my life? yes there are the frustrating things of byu, like the only-creeper-mustaches allowed and no caffeine sold on campus situations, but overall its a great place. after my fairly unproductive study session it was off to run errands with my mom. it feels like we ventured into every store in utah county. we were searching for numerous items including a children's book, clothes for the anniversary party tomorrow night, christmas presents, prescriptions, and a birthday present. it started with old navy then followed with ross, tj maxx, walmart, toys r us, barnes and noble, down east outfitters, cafe rio (we had to have some fuel at this point...), jc penny, and ended with a delicious round of yo zone with the boys (gib and kon). needless to say, the 11 hours were exhausting. it feels good to lay in bed, listen to some soothing tunes and blurt out my thoughts. sometimes i forget how good it feels to have my fingers type away as i process thoughts in my head and type things i didn't even know i was feeling. it can be very therapeutic. why do i go so long between posts? i really need to be better about it. i am currently listening to my new favorite song...."strawberry swing" by coldplay. its just a little bit magical. i just finished a roommate chat with kenken. she is a very delightful girl. i love when she cozies up next to me in bed and we chit chat for a bit...laughing about the funny, horrifying moments of the night that she had to endure, but as usual endured well. tomorrow is filled with exciting events. the opener will be a fun game of byu vs. airforce with kenken, mike, me and my plus one. i don't exactly know who my plus one will be...but hopefully i find someone worth taking. after the game the night will be filled with family, good times, memories, tears and laughter as we celebrate my grandparents 5oth wedding anniversary! i cannot believe they have been married for 50 years, the thought is unimaginable to me. but they seem happy, and as in love as ever. i look forward to the good times tomorrow will bring, but for now i am off to bed to recharge before the festivities. love you all.