nap.

just woke up from a fantastic mid-afternoon nap. i am trying to motivate myself to climb out of my clean comfy sheets and into the livingroom to study for a math test. i have already procrastinated to the worst degree for this chapter in my college algebra class...but i think i can pull it together by saturday. hopefully. that is really the only point of this post--to give me an excuse to procrastinate a little bit more.

i spent last weekend in bryce canyon and it was amazing. i will post pictures soon and tell of our fun adventure.

rotten.

i am a rotten person. just like this dilapidated apple. you know when you are talking to someone, and you think you are keeping things lighthearted but then someone gets offended? and even though you try to fix it the phone call ends and you still feel rotten about the situation? that just happened. and now i feel awful because i upset a close friend. and then to make things worse i rubbed my bad mood onto everyone around me. i think i must go to bed and try to erase this night. hopefully i will be forgiven and everything will return the way they were. i fear, however, that our friendship will forever be changed over this silly quarrel, and not for the better. i think a little time away from provo this weekend will be good. i need to get out.

rain.

tonight i went for a run--in the pouring rain. i listened to this and this. and can i just say that it was one of the most liberating experiences? i felt like i was "sticking it to the man" by just putting on my running shoes and getting drenched without a care in the world. i ran up to the byu bell tower and had a really wonderful experience. it was amazing and hard to put into words. but i loved the feeling of looking up at the tall tower with the rain drops glimmering in the spotlights and gently hitting my face. i think i will do it again sometime.

upon returning home i stumbled on these photos i took with my little sister in november when we headed up the canyon to cut down our christmas tree. we were bored as we waited in the car for the rest of the family to run into the grocery store--so we had an impromptu photo shoot. i must say i love that girl more than anything.

bike rides in the summertime.

this is a bike on the beach in italy.

Tonight I went on the most delightful bike ride. The air was fresh like summertime and it felt good to be back on pearl...she treats me well. I am excited for the summer to be here so that I can continue the nighttime cruises. Next time I will hopefully remember to take a camera so I can document the experience. I am also dying to go to my favorite parking garage on byu campus and feel the wind in my hair as I coast down the perfect sloped cement.

The other night I saw this movie and I have been homesick for Italy for days. Tonight I opened up an Italian textbook and just started reading the dialogs. I am sad that I have forgotten so much, but glad that I can at least still read with a pretty decent accent (at least I think so? haha). Riding bikes tonight made me miss Lucca especially.

alpine

beautiful alpine mountains in may.

I went to Alpine today for a church activity--I decided that if I stay in Utah to raise my family, I would like to do so in Alpine. The mountains were breathtaking. The view was heavenly. I love the way the houses are nestled in the mountains...it kind of feels like one big hug. Love it.

productive.

Am I still being productive if I am reformatting my blog while instead I am supposed to be studying for a math test? I want to say "yes" but I feel like the answer is definitely NO. If my mother knew that I was wasting time like this should would be all sorts of bothered. I think I will keep it to myself until she reads this post weeks from now and finds out the truth.

The truth is--I HATE SPRING CLASSES! I find it really hard to study when all I want to do is play with my family and friends. I really need to find a better balance but don't really have the inner desire to-because deep down I know that means spending less time being unproductive (such as now...) and more time with a structured schedule and discipline. Oh well. That's life I guess.

This week has been a great one--a special highlight included a trip to smashburger with all my favorite people. My grandparents joined (my grandma loves it because they taste really similar to my grandpa's famous homemade "Jed-Burgers") and my mom and dad. As I sat there in between my grandma and grandpa, my parents across from me, and a whole table of the most unhealthy but delicious food (burgers, fries, shakes, and diet coke) I thought to myself "this is what its all about". Let me clarify--life isn't about greasy food. Life is about spending quality time with those you love. As I sat and enjoyed my delightful mid-week break I had such a grateful heart. I have so many things to be grateful for, especially recently, as I have learned (again...) that the Lord does hear and answer prayers--even if it takes a while. We must learn patience and faith in His plan. I have learned that it is when we doubt Him the most, we should pray the most.

one of those days.

so it was just one of those days. one of those weeks really. it started off nicely with having a monday holiday--although as i became more and more distracted by the olympics, and less and less productive with my school work, the stress began to mount. maybe it was the fact that my tuesday became a monday, or my break on wednesday was filled with a pointless test review leaving me starving til 5:30...i'm not sure. but whatever the reason, i was in quite the nasty mood this afternoon. it was one of those moods where you just want to smack those happy smiley people you run into in the head? you know those? well nevertheless, not good. i found myself being horribly sharp to my mother, who i love dearly and who always helps me solve my stressful woes. i usually however just end up trying to throw my stress onto her which doesn't help either of us and gets me nowhere. while studying in the depths of the library for my icky chem test i realized what an awful mood i was in but still couldn't quite shake it. in the middle of studying i realized i hadn't turned in a portion of my lab--great. there goes my grade. normally it might not be a huge deal, but considering my teacher might as well be satan, i am not expecting any mercy. as i sat there with tears welling in my eyes from the frustration i notice mr. smiley at the table across from mine. i know he was probably just trying to be friendly, but as i looked up at him i was half tempted to shout some awful blurb like "what are you smiling about?" or "get lost" at him. what a horrible person i am. luckily i restrained myself and left the library shortly thereafter just in case something slipped out. thank goodness that after my test was over and i came home to my delightful roommate alyssa, things changed for the better. as i discussed the events of the day with kendis, we were both thankful that we aren't subject to blurting out every thought that passes through our head. its days and weeks like this that make me especially grateful for private thoughts.

i feel like i should end my night on a happy note, so the following is a list of happy moments/things i liked from the week-

1) jamba juice apple cinnamon oatmeal. warm delightful heaven in a cup. even better on $1 wednesdays.

2)delightful roommates who laugh with me when i need it most

3)mom's homemade chocolate chip cookies. its amazing how comforting they can be.

4)olympics. even if they do distract me.

5)smiles. especially when i am in a rotten mood and dislike them the most.