Sometimes it is hard to articulate the things I feel inside. It has been quite the year--a roller coaster of emotions, progress, fallbacks, growth, knowledge, heart ache and homesickness, and discovery. My heart feels heavy from time to time. I wonder if I will ever feel like myself again in this body of mine. I see glimpses now and then, but other times I just feel lost. Detached. Like I am wandering through the woods and forgot to leave breadcrumbs behind. I stumble upon a familiar scene now and then, and for a moment feel like I am on the right track. Only to realize I am lost again. I tried to find comforting words for a friend tonight--explained that time brings perspective. I am still waiting for my perspective to arrive...in the meantime, time is still ticking away. In its ever constant fashion.

easter surprise.

today had a lot of mini-miracles. despite a crazy day at the office--i still had energy. that alone is a miracle. {it seems these days i never find the time or ability to sleep.} so to feel awake all day at work is amazing. the second miracle came when my on-call shift at j.crew wasn't used. i had been 99.9% sure that they would need me tonight, so when they told me no i could not have been happier. but the best of all best surprises? my easter surprise from my sweet mama. oh how i love her. she is my best friend and knows me so well. what was the surprise you are wondering?!

S A L T W A T E R S A N D A L S

i have the fondest memories of wearing these cute, comfy and practical sandals as a little girl. i am soooo excited to begin a new summer and make new memories in my saltwaters {this time around i feel much older, but somewhere in there is the same little girl}. i tried them on the second i figured out what was in the package, and instantly fell in love with them all over again. i even frantically ran upstairs to show my roommate...and then downstairs to show two more in the kitchen! none of them had worn or heard of them before, so my excitement over such a simple sandal was probably a little strange. but they are just so fantastic. {they will be perfect with painted summer toes and glorious sandy beaches...just thinking ahead to my vacation to Duck Beach in May!} isn't it wonderful how mothers know just what their daughters need at just the right time? i have been feeling a little sad that i won't be home for easter this year. it's really one of my favorite holidays. it's so peaceful and a time where i can reflect on my Savior and His love for me. the gift of His atonement is the most incredible thing in the world. usual easter festivities include church, an egg hunt with the kiddos {where sometimes i get to pretend i am still young enough to find the magically hidden eggs that the easter bunny has brought} and dinner with the whole family at grandma's...and while i will be away from my family this year, i am lucky to have the blessing of being with them for eternity.

runners high.

{view on memorial bridge looking at the lincoln and washington monument.}

this was the gorgeous view of the city i had on my run tonight.
there really is nothing quite like a
runners high.
especially when the sun is shining and warm on my skin
and
i get to look at a view as incredible as this.
i
love
dc

plus it fixed my two day migraine.
huzzah.

m.

*disclaimer: it has been forever since i have posted. i am aware. but we will pretend like it hasn't so i can tell you about my wonderful weekend with melissa and not feel guilty for all the other things i have left out.

so M came to town this weekend. and let me just tell you, it was delightful. she was a little piece of home and comfort that i greatly needed. in the same wonderful way, i was a little piece of vacation and escape that she needed. there is something so wonderful about an old, lifelong friend. no matter how many days, weeks, or months you go without talking you can always pick up where you left off. M and i have always had that kind of friendship. the second she came into my life i felt she had been there forever.

it was a fast weekend, but we made the best of it. some of our dc events included: pizza here with a series of random adventures throughout the city, brunch at the Hamilton with a lovely and lively group of girls {we enjoyed incredible wheat and oat pancakes with cinnamon apples and maple syrup}, a trip to the American History museum to see the dresses of the First Lady's {even Michelle Obama's inauguration gown}, and a late night run for froyo. we finished off the weekend with a perfect sunday afternoon in the city--cherry blossoms, MLK memorial, and the most magical art exhibit at the Hirshhorn gallery, and a walk through adam's morgan and woodley park til we rested our tired feet at my new favorite place.

the weekend was polished off with hours of thought provoking conversation and lighthearted laughter. i just love my M. thanks for coming and spending the weekend with me. i am so glad you picked dc to potentially go to grad school. great idea.

a passing thought.

do you ever walk the same path...
on a regular basis?
almost daily.
but then one day,
have you ever walked on the other side of the sidewalk?
it's a completely different perspective.
the light falls differently between the buildings.
your feet trip on new cobblestones.
the view of your surroundings
becomes unfamiliar.

jet lag.

so there is this wonderful thing called jet lag. it makes me want to eat hummus and m&m's at 2 am while sipping on a diet coke. even after a 12 hour work day. what the?! i wanna know why. but nevertheless, it's been an enjoyable couple of late night hours. even if i regret it in the morning (and tomorrow night at work...ugh).

i decided since i was up i might as well document some of my trip home for the holidays. it was fabulous.
need i say more?
probably not. but i will anyway.
one of my favorite days was when my mom and i drove up to Sundance to take my little brother Konnor snowboarding.
since we were lucky enough to sneak away alone, we decided to make a little date of it.
we ordered a turkey bacon avocado and perused the catalog store.
it was delightful.
i kind of love my mom.
a lot.
she is my bestest friend.

can you tell i am homesick already?

{photos from my phone on our little adventure up the canyon.}

Sunday Brunch

so last sunday lauren and i decided to have sunday brunch together. can i just say that it was delicious?? church was bright and early (8 am!) and let me just tell you folks, that is really early on a sunday. hopefully no one noticed the glass baking dish, butter, and syrup i had stashed in my purse (ok, maybe it is the size of a small suit case. i like a big bag!) we made a mad dash to lauren's after church and enjoyed yummy german pancakes and fresh blueberries. i loved cooking again. my kitchen has been getting remodeled for 6 weeks now, and i have really been missing it. there is something so therapeutic and rewarding in cooking. anyway, after a little nap we headed out to a christmas concert at the daughter's of the american revolution building in DC. welllllll, after looking for a parking spot (and being kicked out of one because we weren't "military personnel"...how do they know?!) for 30 minutes we gave up. we decided we should take advantage of already being in the city and ended up driving up to the national cathedral. it was breathtaking! there is something so incredible about old cathedrals and temples. it just amazes that they were built with someone's hands. we also found a really cool school behind the cathedral that i just had to have a picture with. i just love lauren, and i am so grateful i got to spend the day with her! we had a blast just having girl talk and exploring the city together. hopefully more days like this to come since we will live within walking distance of each other come january! yay!